A Strength to Behold

I was planning to write about another topic, but an unfortunate event
moved me to write about something else. Irene Congson, who graduated
last March, just lost her dad today. It started with a cardiac arrest
last thursday and progressed to a lot of complications. I followed up
the events through text messages from her friends. It was only today
that I got to talk to her, at the wake of her dad's funeral.

The support of her friends is very edifying. A trip to Baguio was
cancelled, a day's work was sacrificed... Friends with her in the
hospital, or visiting everyday... Now, friends around her at the wake.
I was never close to her as the others, not even as a teacher. I was
silently observing things as they happen and, just as I felt sad about
the unfortunate event, I also felt a great sense of admiration for her
and her friends.

I remember many years ago when I was still working for the University
of Asia and the Pacific. We were translating some seminar materials in
Tagalog for a community service. We got stuck with the word "peer
pressure" so we turned to an expert. His translation made a deep
impression on us. He equated (and translated) "peer pressure" with
"lakas samahan." It brings about a very positive meaning to an
otherwise negative sounding word.

Our friends tend to influence our lives. Many times we associate this
influence with something negative. If you have good friends then the
influence is bound to be good as well. This influence can strengthen
everyone if the bonding is not like a chain link but more of a fabric.
In a chain link, the weakness of one link cuts the whole chain. In a
fabric, the weakness of one stitch can be supported by the other
stitches.

Friendship should not be a chain that ties us down but a fabric that
protects and comforts us. This is what crossed my mind as I silently
sat at that wake. I did not worry so much about Irene because I see the
fabric of friendship strengthening her. Despite what happened, she is
still very lucky to have these people around. But more than luck, it
was due to her own goodness that she has this fabric around her.

Will a fabric of friends last? Depends on how you take care of it.
Eventually some holes might appear, but the whole thing will still
hold. It really depends on the person. Meantime, what I just witnesses
really was a strength to behold...